I started working again. In the government. And it is a monster. The titles, the ranks, the processes, the bureaucratic swaggering, and the institutional egos. Oh, the egos. Pre-pandemic, the government was like a minor headache all the time. Post-pandemic, all of it hurts like a motherfucker. It’s the worst of humanity compacted into concrete walls and paperwork and email.
People are no longer humans. We are names and emails crammed into outlook contact groups. Friendships and connection over food become quick hellos in the hallway and fake “we should get together’s” in the elevator. Work friends are just really the people you need to be nice to, because you have to deal with them the most. And you need to get through the work day. So you become friends with them. Knowing that when you leave, they won’t stay in touch.
The worst beings sent their assistants after you to deliver the most terrible or mean messages. The best human beings actually come to your desk directly to say, “I really liked your idea, but…” and try to negotiate some happy medium.
“It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times…” government in this moment right now, is truly Dickensian. We finally have a rational President, but the system is even more broken than ever. People are haggard, ragged, and weary from Zooming and working from home.
What we really need is for the whole world the stop working, SIMULTANEOUSLY, for one month. This sounds like truly elitist bullshit because there are people who literally cannot take one hour or one day off work, because they could starve. But … just for one utopic second… if you thought about everyone stepping away from work for one whole month to rest, be with a loved one, exercise, and be well. No one would have to check work email because there literally wouldn’t be “work” activity happening… around the globe… anywhere.
What really is “work”? What really is “contributing to the world”? I ask myself these questions every day now. And I doubt the answers are at my desk in my office. They are elsewhere. In the sky. The air. Their eyes. Their smiles. In the leaves. In my heart.