There’s Always That One Person In Your Office

I have worked in approximately 10 different offices during my 17 year career. One was a virtual storefront. 2 were nonprofit. 3 were government. 3 were private sector. And, I can authoritatively say, there’s always that one person. What do I mean?

That one person you dread. The dragon man, the dragon lady, the dragon it, they, she, her, them. The person who takes up too much space. The person who exudes toxicity. The person who ruins it for everyone else.

Maybe she is unhappy. She felt she was dealt a bad hand in life, and so she decided to spread rumors and make her voice loud — and that’s how she exerted power over people. She can shut down a conversation as soon as it begins. She can also start a nasty whisper campaign about another woman.

Maybe he is lonely. He has teenagers in the house who ostracize him for his political views. So he decides to make a voice for himself in a politicized environment.

Maybe they are the couple who pride themselves on their independence and lack of connectedness to the mainstream. They’re used to being different. They do not socialize in the normal circles. When they speak up in meetings, they become so drunk on their non-mainstream views, they come off as condescending and demeaning. They oppose everything, support nothing.

I usually revert back to “Hurt people, Hurt people” and try very hard to expand my heart and mind. I counsel hurt individuals. I try to give the third party point of view.

But, what about when my feelings get hurt? What happens when The Person hurts me so soundly that I cannot voice my hurt directly to her? The Person also denies she had any negative effect on anyone.

That’s me today. I’m so tired of these people. I’m tired and older in general. I don’t have the energy to fight and to represent. Direct confrontation will only skew this person’s view of me. Trivialize me. Is this really worth my energy? I think the American workplace sucks. I think it glorifies people like this. Why else is this woman a senior leader?